G came over the night I wrote my last blog post. He was drunk, had been robbed by his cabbie and his thuggish friends, and he was pissed off. It wasn't really a supportive event. He came by work the next day and we got to talk a little. Then I hung out with him the night before last. That was better. I much prefer to see him when he isn't drinking. Its a bit like swimming upstream when I try to have a meaningful conversation with him otherwise. It was good talking with him on Friday, though. He's going to spend that day with me while I'm going through the hard parts. He's going to pay for half. He is being incredibly supportive and kind to me through this whole thing. I just have fear that after its over that he might get out while the getting is good. I plan to get an IUD either way, I don't want this to happen again. But I'm afraid that he may be scared off. I don't blame him one little bit.
I'm working on a painting right now that captures what I'm feeling completely. I'm trying to channel this into creativity so that I can deal with it all. I'm just overwhelmed when I'm feeling anything at all.
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